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Squirrels: Love or Hate?
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Poster:supersonicchica
Date:2006-09-28 17:49
Subject:KOA vs. USA (United Squirrel Alliance)
Security:Public

Here at the San Antonio KOA, we have beautiful wildlife including the many squirrels that roam freely in the park... For the most part they are well behaved until a few months ago....

There was a incident in the park where a squirrel who obviously hit the bong one time too many ran up a pole and got electecuted by one of our transformers... When Walter (our maintnence manager) found the crispy critter, he was smoked to the skin... After the funeral of Leroy the stoner squirrel, a bitter turf war was started between the San Antonio KOA location and The United Squirrels Alliance... The poor unfortunate loss of Leroy happened on Aug. 11 2006...


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Walter (KOA Maintance Manager)


One week later Jason (one of our courtesy patrol guys) witnessed two squirrels carrying some small arms and then precceded with a drive-by shooting across our tenting area, luckily squirrels, are not the brightest of creatures and forgot it was a Tuesday, no tent campers in the park, leading to no injuries... when confronted about the terrible violence the squirrels quickly explained that they had a union labor meeting and couldn't stay for further questioning....We can only assume that the drive-by shooting was retalitation for the death of their fallen comrade..

13 days after the drive-by shooting, Juan (A work kamper) confronted a squirrel named Enrique and shot him directly in the face with a rubberband... The squirrel did file assault charges and sentencing is still pending with the courts... The squirrel states that attack was unprovoked, but we all know the truth here at KOA...


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Juan, The Squirrel Rubberband Bandito


For about a month everything seemed to quiet down here at the park, until about a week ago, while I was working the registration desk, I peered out the window and witnessed an unindentified squirrel who'll we will name Chester the Molestor masturbating against the gate for the pool... I was lucky enough to get this blurry image of the indecent exposure taking place on my camera phone...


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John Doe aka: Chester the Molestor


This was the last straw here at the KOA and the staff here including myself decided to start negotiations with the United Squirrel Alliance... The leader a narcissistic squirrel named Buckey Johnson, who loved to water skii and continously throw acorns on top of our heads, argued for the civil rights of the squirrel tenants of the park....


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Buckey Johnson, Squirrel Attorney at Law


After 2 days and nights of negotiations we eventually came to an agreement... We will disallow KOA kampers from picking the pecan trees bare, and ample use of our heated pool and spa throughout the year, in exchange the squirrels agreed to stop harrasing the tent campers in the back of the park by mooning them and to stop humping the tires of all of the RV's in the park... together we also agreed to end all violence in the park... So on Sept. 22. 2006 a peace treaty was signed between the staff here at the KOA in San Antonio and the United Squirrel Alliance... let's all be optimistic that the peace here at KOA lasts... for we all secretly know that those squirrels are cheeky bastards and cannot be trusted with a busted acorn let alone a peace treaty...

:)

-Beckie (KOA Work Kamper at San Antonio KOA)

PS: To be continued for sure...


X-POSTED in
supersonicchica
and
camping

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Poster:fridgedicebunny
Date:2006-08-11 11:56
Subject:
Security:Public

http://www.local6.com/news/9665269/detail.html

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Poster:groovyllama
Date:2006-05-07 02:47
Subject:I'm new.
Security:Public
Mood: hopeful

First of all, I just wanted to say that it's really awesome that there's a group devoted to these furry buddies.

And second, I'm pro squirrel. I live across the street from some woods, and the squirrels come out to play in my yard when it's rainy. I love sitting by the window and watching them frolic =) I realize that squirrels can be nuisances in some ways, but still...

they're just so damn cute.

2 comments | post a comment



Poster:abject_endism
Date:2006-03-31 11:39
Subject:
Security:Public

Find Your Inner Squirrel!!

8 comments | post a comment



Poster:abject_endism
Date:2006-03-01 10:10
Subject:from tailchaser
Security:Public

5 comments | post a comment



Poster:fridgedicebunny
Date:2006-02-28 12:59
Subject:Who's shocked?
Security:Public

Not me.

4 comments | post a comment



Poster:fridgedicebunny
Date:2005-12-01 17:04
Subject:Stolen from vnsplshr...
Security:Public

From the BBC

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them
in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black
squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about
a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some
carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food
sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village
in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels
hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended
and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina
told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking
pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he
had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests,
he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he
added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn
chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no
pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.

"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he
said.

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Poster:abject_endism
Date:2005-11-17 11:51
Subject:
Security:Public

5 comments | post a comment



Poster:curcible_11
Date:2005-10-19 21:28
Subject:
Security:Public

this is pure evil. don't all you anti-squirrel people get excited now...

anti-squirrel people are barbariansCollapse )

6 comments | post a comment



Poster:curcible_11
Date:2005-10-02 21:59
Subject:Squirrels Rule
Security:Public

go here:

http://eclectech.co.uk/message.php?i=djk

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Poster:fridgedicebunny
Date:2005-09-19 18:08
Subject:
Security:Public

http://www.anti-squirrel.com/info.html

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Poster:curcible_11
Date:2005-08-25 17:24
Subject:
Security:Public

i'm starting to think that bats are cuter and cuddlier than squirrels. plus, i've never had a bat chew something of mine to pieces.

2 comments | post a comment



Poster:redghost
Date:2005-06-24 09:30
Subject::) Enjoy.
Security:Public

http://www.romanpoet.org/112/weeeee.swf

1 comment | post a comment



Poster:whiptcracker
Date:2005-06-21 09:28
Subject:
Security:Public

Lucard pointed this community out to me after I posted something on the stupid little tree rats. How anyone can love the buggers is beyond me.

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Poster:infekt
Date:2005-06-10 10:25
Subject:
Security:Public

thank you for not taking me off the list of pro squirrel members during my little lapse in squirrel support. i still love the squirrels!
the squirrel who ruined my windchime has been trying to make peace. [i know it's the same squirrel, i only have one squirrel who lives in my yard.] i think the poor thing was actually attacked by my chime, there is squirrel fur stuck on one part. the little cutie was probably playing around by the chime, got it's fur pulled and freaked, therefore panicking and accidentally pulling the thing apart.
well anyway, i still like squirrels, especially the one in my yard. i'm naming it Cheddar.

7 comments | post a comment



Poster:trent_j_reznor
Date:2005-05-18 00:56
Subject:
Security:Public

I'm Pro-piggy! I really can't stop going on about thim. :D

Hey Pig!

1 comment | post a comment



Poster:infekt
Date:2005-05-10 16:07
Subject:down with squirrels
Security:Public

i'm changing my stance.
some stupid squirrel chewed apart my bamboo wind chime.
i finally see the light.

19 comments | post a comment



Poster:abject_endism
Date:2005-04-13 14:43
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: inspired

Squirrel poemCollapse )

2 comments | post a comment



Poster:abject_endism
Date:2005-04-06 12:18
Subject:
Security:Public



Hmmm, I think this is probably some sort of underhanded squirrel-hater prank.

12 comments | post a comment


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